Teatime
by Runa93
Summary: A little cute oneshot inspired by a review left by Protecter Of Grey Fortress.


**For PGF, who first gave me the idea. Thanks!**

Teatime

I had known Sherlock Holmes for a quite a few years and I had seen him engaged in quite a few interesting activities which had become a part of his remarkable career, not the least of which was his disastrous attempt at making breakfast which ultimately let the untimely demise of the criminal Davidson. Since then I've forbidden him near the kitchen and leave the work to Mrs. Hudson's capable hands.

But, knowing Sherlock Holmes, this was not to be.

"_Watson!"_

Isn't this how every day starts, I thought wearily as I opened the door to our joint sitting room.

"Yes, Holmes?"

My companion was standing over his beloved chemistry set and peering into a solution. He looked up as I entered.

"Ah, there you are, doctor. Could you please pass the potassium permanganate? It is a bit of a critical stage here, I am afraid."

I pulled out the respective test tube and handed it to him. He shook it into the solution and it turned a rather pale pink.

"What are you doing?" I asked, watching with interest. This solution was like none that I had ever seen.

"It is an endeavor" he answered distractedly "to see how tea is made."

I blinked at him. Between us the solution continued to bubble. Finally I broke the silence.

"Tea?" I whispered, in a voice very unlike my own. At Sherlock Holmes nod,

I looked at the test tube, in which the solution was slowly turning blue. I felt nauseated.

"Must one taste it?"

"I do not know if that is necessary yet." Holmes turned the heat up "But there is no doubt that it will be a success."

Looking at the thickening solution in the test tube, I highly doubted that.

Oh dear.

An hour later, I was sitting obediently by his side, holding my notebook and making observations as Holmes dictated to me.

"Five minutes, the solution remains black, appears to have curdled, adding little water…." He rattled on and on until my head literally pounded.

"I say, Holmes" I ventured a few moments later "Is this really….tea?"

"Quite" He said absentmindedly, as he added a little of what appeared to be salt. I shuddered.

A few moments later…

"Holmes, what's wrong with our tea?"

Our worthy landlady had just deposited two cups of the worthy stuff and I looked at it longingly.

Holmes did not answer me so I took it as encouragement enough to continue.

"I mean, just look at it." I waved a hand towards the tray and ignoring my stomach's growls.

Holmes designed to look up and nodded at it.

"That" was his comment "Is exactly what I am attempting to reproduce."

Small wonder that my stomach nearly gave out there and then.

Another two hours and I had nearly exhausted the limits of my patience. The solution, meanwhile, had turned from blue to grey, to a mind boggling white, to a nauseating pink, a rich yellow and dull red. Anything except the wholesome brown we were looking for.

I believe I would have sat through anything, even one of Holmes exhaustive lecture on the inadequacies of the official force, but this torture of this precious beverage was more then I could stand.

"Holmes, this is enough! I am starving, so do as you please, I am going to eat!"

He made no comment and slowly picking up another test tube, began tilting it. As I saw the label on it, I was assailed by a vague sense of fear.

"Holmes." I said slowly. "That's hydrochloric acid. I don't think-"

_BANG!_

When I emerged from the wreckage a moment later, I saw that our poor table had been _literally_ blasted apart. The experiment, no doubt, had been reduced to ashes. At the other end of the room, Holmes was sitting up dazedly and, for a moment, we both looked at each other. Then I slowly pulled out my notebook, which miraculously had survived the explosion, and, flipping it open, noted underneath it.

"The experiment" I said, scribbling slowly "Has undoubtedly been a failure." I looked up to see Holmes's glare directed at me, which promptly turned into a sheepish grin as I gestured at the ruin of our rooms.

But it was destined that the night's excitement was not to be finished yet. For, a few minutes, we heard a quickening of footsteps outside our door and the vociferous scream of a tigress.

"_MR. HOLMES!!"_  
_  
_


End file.
